The cost of hobbying (killing us!!!)

[Smokie Bear]

100%. Some clients a girl gets close enough with for him to open up and discuss his personal affairs, other times we are none-the-wiser. But to the ones that do discuss, sometimes we come across profound stories. Stories of love, loss, pride, hardship, success, obsession, need, dispair, joy, etc. Same goes for girls. This biz, like any other biz, has the good, the bad, and the ugly. Striving for balance is critical to maintaining focus on what matters most in life. And should remain fluid, therefore adaptable.

 

[JoKTM]

I read an old article (published in 2008) on the Toronto MP industry and nothing was good. The storyline featured a mid-fortys man with 3 kids and wife. Another part of the storyline featured a former MPA and her struggles in the "real world" after 5+ years in the industry.

The guy ends up spending $400/mth over 6 years... that was $29K. He contracted herpes and warts on his penis (costing thousands to remove). His wife finds out that she has contracted the herpes and warts from her doctor. So she files for a divorce and (more humiliating) all his friends, co-workers and children find out. The divorce leaves him alone and bankrupt. He thinks about suicide every day!!!

The former MPA used the profession as a means to support her university education. Initially she started working only 1 weekend shift but the money and MP owner (a woman) convinced her to do more. The 1st year money was great (making $80K part-time annually) but escalated to $150K in her 3rd, 4th and last year. She became disinterested in sex, men, food and school. She forced herself to finish a certificate program (real estate) after dropping out of university. She doesn't run into former clients but visits a therapist ater the break-up of her marriage. In the end, all her money is gone, self respect crippled, marriage ruins, couple of STDs (not disclosed), and in need of removing her implants.

It is obvious there are no winners in this hobby, except for the MP owners and government agencies issuing licenses and penalties.

 

[jandy]

So quit. If you can't on your own, then seek a therapist so you can address the underlying reasons that compel you to give strangers money for sex.

 

[crazzy_nascar_chick]

Really?? I know some CEO's or Litigation Lawyers or Psychologists or ER Doc's or Politicians that would think our industry is a joke compared to their Good, Bad, & Ugly.

 

[Tainted Love]

Yep. Just look at those 2 MD's who were busted for administering a noxious substance and sexual assaulting a girl. There are a lot of fucked ups in every industry. I used to do tax work for many high net worth clients (mostly in financial industry). Almost every one of them had thousands of dollars per year in medical bills paid to a psychologist/psychiatrist.

 

[beneoumbept]

The risks are too high if you think about it..LE, career, family, reputation, addiction, money....STD'S! I bet at least half of them have the Herp - all this "Italian" going on....bound to cause problems. Think about how many guys a 7 year MPA veteran has been with: 7 guys per shift, 4 shifts per week = 28 guys per week; give them 8 weeks off, that's 44 weeks /year of employment * 7 years = 308 weeks * 28 dudes.............that's 8,624 dudes over 7 years!! And you mean to tell me they are tested regularly...what bullshit

 

[~C.b.~]

this hobby is not for the faint of heart i must say...

 

[Victoria M]

Rockslinger, we only hear the good stories here for the most part. All the great BS, gems, greatest experiences ever, etc. We don't often hear guys who come on and say how the hobby has ruined their lives. I can count on one hand the number of times I can remember those threads.

GPIdeal, most everything surrounding prostitution is illegal (for now). Make up a list of countries where prostitution is completely legal and a list where it is partly or wholly criminalized. Your first list will be somewhat shorter.

Anbarandy - I agree. Self-denial is a coping, defensive mechanism. How many of us ever thought that we'd grow up to be johns? Is this the ideal? Is this what we strive to be as men? I doubt it. We're just rationalizing.

A wise lady once told me, if I grew a pair of balls and dealt with the real relationship problems in my life, I wouldn't be in this hobby. Or even want to..

 

[Wiz]

Balance is nice but easier said then done.

 

[manyman]

I think thats all a bit of a worst/extreme case scenario. I know plenty of clients that find balance, know their limits, and use hobbying as an avenue when needed. This guy you are referring to obviously put himself at risk, and yes, thats the price you pay the piper when you cross certain lines.

Furthermore, I know many many many former MPA's that are glowing success stories. They finished school, have booming careers, and find love. Its again about how you handle what life gives you. If you dont save your money, separate love & work, and follow your plan, than yes...this business can eat you alive. Many get stuck. Its a choice.

What bugs me about this story above is when people refuse to claim accountability to their circumstance. Life doesnt just happen. Each and every decision has an effect on where we are in our lives. It takes a certain # of decisions to end up where that guy, and former MPA, are in their lives currently. It certainly didnt just happen to them! Both of them should be quite grateful for what they do have, and having the opportunity & good sense to make more decisions and ultimately change their lives.

Life is all about balance and learning lessons. Life has a way of repeating itself over and over until you 'get it'. Otherwise you end up with those kinds of people that say things like "I dont know how I keep ending up in this position". UGH!! You got yourself there! You get yourself out!

 

[malcolm b]

You can see stories like this in those old scare tactic movies of the 1920's, 1930's: " ___________ (fill in the blank with whatever sin you want) will lead you to hell and destroy your life. The evangelical churches do it today, "I was saved from ___________ by being led to christ. The media trys to scare us too. In the 1960's it was "If you use LSD you will wind up in an insane asylum thinking you are a vegetable". In the 90's it was "Take one toke of crack and you will be addicted for life." In the 00's it was "ecstasy is going to kill our kids." Stories dealing with moral dilemmas always have to have a bad ending in the media. Our society demands it. No one is going to write a story about a woman who becomes successful by giving sexual pleasure for dollars for nine years, starts her own business and is successful while creating a good work environment for her employees. The media wants the woman, her clients and employees to be utterly destroyed because of their actions before they will tell the story.
Stories like the one in the first post are usually fabricated or exagerated. The story of the successful MPA or SP is never told, not because it doesn't happen but because it doesn't fit in with North America's particular peculiar morality.

 

[DIANEC]

I think some of the stories are flawed intentionally and exaggerated to justify someone's point of view or sensationalize an article. It doesn't cost thousands of dollars to treat warts, you have to be very reckless to catch then infect your wife. A part from that, I'm not stopping drinking because others become alcoholics. I'm not giving up up driving because some people are drinking & driving, speeding, etc.

I don't want my life restricted because of other people's weaknesses.

 

[Mike Hunt]

Every profession has an element of psychological stress. Add emotional stress, plus physical intimacy. This isnt just any other business transaction. It's personal on every level.

 

[Anna K.]

When I was younger (when was that?) I used to work at a store where I always give the manager a ride to & from work. We were not tight but out of courtesy (sucking up maybe) that he live 3 houses from mine. I don't know his deal but he always doesn't have money on him. Sometimes he doesn't even take lunches and he's full-time & single. I later on learned he has gambling problems and owes some people money.

Now I saw one of my atf (retired) twice outside work juggling binders and other school stuff that makes me feel better knowing she's spending her earnings wisely. Sometimes, this industry is the only way out for the ladies.

 

[JaMaMe]

Absolutely correct. I too have found myself also going to an SP or MP because I had the time. Recently SPing has started to become too casual and in some cases I find its losing the excitment factor for me. I have since pulled back and have become more selective in the SP's I choose. On the MP side I recently went back to it (after the last couple of years of SPing full time)and found the sessions much more attentive and suductive then the SP session. But again by not doing it all the time and being selective, more recently, I have certainly noticed a healthier bank balance. So for me it pays to be selective and further it enhances the experience more.

 

[AlwaysBored]

Actually, I have read first hand accounts of massageplanet.netites here picking up a disease or hobbying contributing to stress or breaking up the family. Just do a bit of searching and go back just slightly more than a couple of years. Yes, they're anecdotal, but in the absence of ever getting statistical data (hmmm.. could we do a massageplanet.net poll?), you've got to give them some weight.

I don't feel that Sweety is trying to ban everyone from the hobby or legislate anyone's freedom. He's just saying that there are serious social, financial, marital and health impacts (potentially adverse) for both the client and MPA the longer the person participates in this industry. It's too easy to brush these concerns off in the way a lot of people are doing here, saying it's rare that this type of shit happens. I can understand that people really want (need) to believe that. And yes, it's important for an individual to take on personal responsibility, but do you really expect that the advice given here, telling an addict (of any type) to "opt out" or "just say no" is really that effective? I do feel bad for the innocent people in that individual's life who are affected when that person fails in his responsibility. As for the girls, I don't doubt that there are those that do well for a set period of time and then use the money earned to launch a better life, away from the industry. But I've met others in too deep, unable to exit gracefully or are emotionally damaged.

It's admirable that the OP is bringing up a subject that a lot of people are uncomfortable with. Too often, we only see the airbrushed images of our fantasies and don't look below the surface. I value everyone's viewpoints here. Discussion is good.

FD

 

[Pompal 09.]

Anything in moderation is fine! Know your limits and play within your means!

 

[Relheok]

The hobby can be an addiction like any other.

The lifestyle for SPs is enticing. Quick money, partying and fast relationships. Not easy to resist.

If you don't have a good head on your shoulders, it doesn't matter what job or hobby you're in. You'll be broke and busted up in no time, whichever side of the table you're on.

(It's the guys who yearn for more than what the hobby offers are the ones who get f*cked up. It's an endless quest.)

 

[pinhed_1976]

And so the best way to escape this playpen of the damned and redeem my corrupted soul is to... be more selective about my MPAs to make the experience 'fresher'?

Like the OP, the disposition towards the hobby of many posting here is a rather discordant combination of attraction and loathing.

 

[juikeTede]

I realize MPAsquared makes some sense, but is biased as a MP owner. My problem is the two people in the storyline represent many more who get stuck and effect innocent people (families, especially kids). For the sake of them, maybe removing all MPs and SCs (SPs) would be better for the Toronto area. After all, society survived without them in the past.