To talk or not to talk...

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Jon K

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that is the question (I suppose). :D

I admit that I love to hear about client's lives! I learn so much from clients! I never talk about my own problems and I'm not into hearing about other people's (depressing) issues. I find with massage that people love to talk to me and by the end of the session I feel that I am buddies with them...then they step out into the clinic room and I give them homecare advice...but I never feel as close.

What is that? Are those bountry issues? Does anyone else experience that close magic with their clients (and KNOW that the clients's want to chit chat too) ? It's like it all ends after the massage. :( I also know that maybe I shouldn't be so into gaining something personally...I just love my clients and my work.... I don't see that as a bad thing.
 


It could be that while they are on the table and talking so much, it is easier for you to move aside the client/therapist realationship a little bit. Once the client is dressed and I'm assuming in your office area and the atmosphere isn't quite as intimate, you are very well reminded of the professional nature of the relationship.
 


I would continue to process this issue, as a power differential is inherent in the therapeutic relationship while the client is on the table. Are you subconsciously encouraging "the talking" that occurs to meet your own personal needs? This is simply a question to consider, as being on a table nude or semi-nude equates to being in a vulnerable position, and when people are in a vulnerable position they will rise to meet the needs of others. The fact that the relationship changes so dramatically once the client has assumed his/her regular (upright) place in the word, suggests, to me, that there is a power imbalance at play here that is influenicng the talking.

This is a very honest, interesting, and, I'm sure, helpful conversation to have. I just completed my master's thesis on the integration of touch (via massage therapy) in comprehensive mental health treatment, and this is an issue that I addressed. Take care and happy learning!
 


embracetime said:
Are you subconsciously encouraging "the talking" that occurs to meet your own personal needs? This is simply a question to consider, as being on a table nude or semi-nude equates to being in a vulnerable position, and when people are in a vulnerable position they will rise to meet the needs of others. The fact that the relationship changes so dramatically once the client has assumed his/her regular (upright) place in the word, suggests, to me, that there is a power imbalance at play here that is influenicng the talking.

I would hope that I wouldn't subconsciously do this. My rule is that after 2 or 3 minutes of talking, I am silent unless the client talks. Thta way they have the option of sleeping or talking. It would just make me sad to think that I am doing something unethical by talking. I'm not sure they would come back if picked up on such a thing (yet they do)...I know I wouldn't. As a client I always enjoy talking too & never feel vulnerable but maybe that's because I'm used to massage?

"I'm assuming in your office area and the atmosphere isn't quite as intimate, you are very well reminded of the professional nature of the relationship."

Completely different atmospheres and yes I am reminded of the professional nature of the realtionship. I find this a tricky balance. I just hope that we as massage therapists aren't trying to be way too clinical-like because of the nature of our work is so hands on. I find many in the health field, with more training than MTs are a lot less clinical than many of us...I'm not sure why that is.

I guess my issue is with being clinical vs. being friendly. I might subconsciously equate not talking with being very clinical? (As I said before...I also just simply enjoy hearing about my client's lives...it's that simple in my conscious mind.)
 


I generally like to do my massages without much talking otherwise I lose focus on what I'm doing. I'll respond to their talking but won't initiate it. On a few occasions If I feel that I am talking too much I'll say to the client that this is their time so I'll stop talking so that they can really enjoy the massage. Normally a few minutes they fall asleep.
 


I am 100% for no chat during the massage - as client or therapist - the only talk is instructional (from me) or essential feedback (from client).

Clients will get much more from the massage if they can relax completely and go to a place of healing for them - massage and touch can be healing on many levels, and that just won't happen (in my opinion of course) to the same degree if the client is chatting about stuff not relevant to the treatment.
 


I allow the client to make the decisioin as to if they need to talk or not. I have had some appologize for not talking, which I just laugh and tell them it is their time, and it is their decision to talk or not. But overall it is about 50-50 but even if they are talkers, and they are new clients I answer very quickly... my seasoned clients I can figure out at this point that they are not going to be silent and muffle through the face cradle and all...
 


I have to say i usually enjoy talking to my clients rather then just be silent. Although I've gotten some complaints from some clients that I talk too much :oops:

Soo I'm trying to be more sensitive and let the client initiate what it is that they want.

Jason
 


For me, I take it on an individual basis. I never initiate the talking, and when the client does, I usually give short responses. I have found that with some clients, talking does not seen to distract from their session, but for others it does. Sometimes clients talk because things come up during the session. I never play therapist, but I will often serve as a compassionate listener. Sometimes that's all that is needed. As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that this is a tricky situation. I guess I just try to follow my gut. If I get the feeling that their talking is detrimental to their session, I will try my best to lead them back to silence. If I feel that the talking is part of a release, I will let it take its course. When the latter happens, the talking usually ceases of its own accord. It is like a wave that comes and goes, and by not interfering I am simply holding the space so that the release can finish.
 


CrOsSiNgNiErIkA said:
I guess I just try to follow my gut. If I get the feeling that their talking is detrimental to their session, I will try my best to lead them back to silence. If I feel that the talking is part of a release, I will let it take its course. When the latter happens, the talking usually ceases of its own accord. It is like a wave that comes and goes, and by not interfering I am simply holding the space so that the release can finish.

CrOsSiNgNiErIkA, I love how you put that! :D Well said!
 


argh! I cannot stand chit chat during a massage..it is distracting...however, if the client talks, I let them but I don't encourage it and I certainly do not talk unless spoken to..or to ask them about the pressure, and I only ask that once.. ;)
 


I'm a fan of the no-chatting during massage, allowing both of us to "get into the zone." However, I've experienced clients that definitely benefit that day from being "heard." So, I'll listen and acknowledge of course. It's difficult though: I know being a talk-therapist isn't my scope of practice, but I remember what I've learned about active listening techniques ...and EVEN trying to maintain a supportive unbiased presense once, a client interpreted my sympathetic "ohhh, uh oh" as a judgement on his sensitive issue.

Then there's the times when I'm giving a massage to someone I know and who's interested in my life. It's not easy resisting chit chat then! But, the massage suffers. I take twice as long and do half the good.

So...I'd rather redirect the client's focus on breathe.
 
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  36. DareDevil:
    366 ARIA WELLNESS โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683 โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ(PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) โ™ฅ๏ธTODAY'S Schedule!โ™ฅ๏ธ Loaded lineup with Beautiful Girls : New young RMT student Helen, Fun girl Apple, Magical Mia and Work out๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿšด๐Ÿ’ช Babe Amy! SPECIAL PROMO 30 MINS 2 GIRLS $70 ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน**TODAY'S PICKS OF THE DAY ARE ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ APPLE AND HELEN๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ**
  37. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธCarly๐ŸŒธBrandy๐ŸŒธKellyCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  38. Spa in Markham:
    GOLDEN FS โ€“ 8380 Kennedy Rd ๐Ÿ“ž 905-258-0777 / 416-688-6886 ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ VANESSA, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ JULIE (2PM), ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด MEGAN (8PM), ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ KELLY, ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ SONIA (8PM), ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ JESSIE ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookinggoldenlove
  39. FLOWER Spa - BLUEXADO | Thornhill | VAUGHAN:
    BLUEXADO FS โ€“ #06-1102 Centre St ๐Ÿ“ž 416-357-9797 / 416-678-8668 ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ CICI, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ AMY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ SHERRY ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingbluexadolove
  40. FLOWER Spa โ€“ PINK | Scarborough | TORONTO:
    PINK FS โ€“ 3300 McNicoll Ave ๐Ÿ“ž 416-299-5515 / 416-817-3839 ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท ELINA, ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ MADY, ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ CANDY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ NANCY ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingpinklove
  41. SpringGreen.:
    Today we have 5 girls on downtown Toronto 72 gerrard st west๏ผš๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹ New girl Hitti very young๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹Lisa- Tanned Spanish beauty with large melons and a fun booty too minica- exotic goddess with a gymnasts body and corresponding flexibility Jennifer- Exotic beauty with... Call and text 647 891 0699 ask question :heart4 :heart4 :heart4
  42. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹Limited Time Special Promotion๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹ โœ…๐Ÿ’ฆ30 Minutes Nude Mass
  43. AliceSpa:
    3 Sexy Young Girls Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm : CLOUDIA (12pm-9pm): is Vietnamese, young, petite 5'2" & 96 Lbs, B Cup, best rim deep bbbj cim. $40 Room Fee + $80 (incl bbbj & fs). +$20 for rim/cim. Excellent open minded services. SKY (10:30am-9pm): is Part time girl from Indonesia, petite 5'2", B Cup, 100 Lbs, long black hair, new to the biz.Young, fresh/cute, pretty, submissive, slim tiny waist, fair skin. bbbj
  44. ForeverWarden:
    Monday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ดโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Yumi & Cindy. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Yumi is a young half Chinese / /half Korean very sexy & slim beauty, can do bbbj cim, excellent services...
  45. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: AMY, FIONA & CINDY. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! FIONA is a slim hottie with long dark hair, great melons and ass, and nice services. CINDY is slim
  46. SugarLoveSpa:
    Monday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ANA, CHRISTINA, MIA, TIFFANY & VIVI. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ANA is a young, short and sweet lady, 5โ€™1 & 105 Lbs, very tight, with a small to medium booty. Ana is a versatile honey who provides great massage, & can accommodate your needs. CHRISTINA is Spanish, C Cups, 5'3", tall & nice curves, very open mind
  47. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today, young pretty Lily 25โ€™s with curve body and flirty Ivy 36DD with curly body 30โ€™s open mind, young sweet popular Michelle 26โ€™s with curve body open mind and cute GFE Ella are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome,back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  48. Annie Spa:
    Gorgeous Young Petite Girl Judy, Sweet Tiny Young College Student Luna, Stunning Korean Girl Ivy and Busty Sensual Coco today ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’‹โค๏ธ Call or text May to book appointment 416-891-9688 or 416-291-8879๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏโค๏ธ
  49. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน2 girls ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ5124 Dundas St W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366๐Ÿ‘ Table Shower Sea Salt Bath Body Scrub๐Ÿ˜˜ Japanese girl Nina โค๏ธ Natural Big Boobs 38 DD ๐Ÿ˜˜Pink Mini Nipples Hot body slide, super enjoyable๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ very provocative service๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธYou are welcome to make an appoint
  50. Lulu_Villa_Spa:
    Yuki Sweet Singaporean Girl Sasa friendly Vietnamese girl Aiko Mixed Chinese/Japanese Judy is a gorgeous model type Vietnamese Girl Cherry ๐Ÿ’ From Malaysia Part time School girl โ˜Ž๏ธ647- 446-0886
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