a man catches a tasty woman giving him the eye in a supermarket.'do i know u ? he says; she asks him 'arent u the father of one of my children? he quickly thinks back to the only time he was ever unfaithful and adds 'were u the hooker i ****ed over the snooker table at my stag do while ur mate spanked me with a piece of wet celery whilst shoving that cucumber up my arse?' no she replies, im your daughters teacher!!!