Sonya Lopez
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2010
- Messages
- 7
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Hope this makes you smile...
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start"
to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a โBrokerโ?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material
used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
โDo not use while sleepingโ.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
โDirections: Use like regular soapโ.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrostโ.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside downโ.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heatingโ.
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on bodyโ.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicationโ.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsinessโ.
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use onlyโ.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other useโ.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nutsโ.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nutsโ.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to flyโ.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitalsโ.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. [sm=rollaugh.gif]
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start"
to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a โBrokerโ?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material
used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because
of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
โDo not use while sleepingโ.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
โDirections: Use like regular soapโ.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrostโ.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside downโ.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heatingโ.
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on bodyโ.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicationโ.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsinessโ.
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use onlyโ.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other useโ.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nutsโ.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nutsโ.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to flyโ.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitalsโ.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. [sm=rollaugh.gif]
, 
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